Thursday, 26 June 2014

Daddy, I miss you

Our first family trip oversea - Jiangnan, China. 
Daddy, it has been three weeks since you leave us. It is still very hard for me to come to terms to with your sudden departure. I find it hard to continue writing for this blog because I know you used to read every piece of my thoughts. My heart cries each time I think of you. Each time I wander around our garden and see the beautiful plants that you’ve planted, I see your images everywhere.
At minus 27 degree, deep winter in Northern China.

Family trip to Troy.
I am yet to return to Surian, the other home where your love for me is more evidently on display: all the beautiful antiques that you bought for me without a slight complain about its price. My thoughts are everywhere, to the paintings and calligraphies that you help me to hang because you forbade me to use the ladders. To the purple clay teapots that you bought for me during your trip to China with mummy that became part of your pride, to the study room that you so lovingly teased that it is more like a homage room to Chairman Mao and communism, to the rosewood rocking chair that you like to have your afternoon nap and morning newspapers. And more……..

This afternoon, I wandered to the back of our house and I saw the plastic chairs and tables that we used every year for Chinese New Year open house and the occasion party at home. I can’t help but to think of your joy as friends and relatives come in the dozens. As you told Adam, each gathering is a happy moment for you. We will continue with this tradition that you’ve set up, daddy. I am sure you know, Adam and Yen miss you very much. So does the many people that know you.  

Happy time during CNY open house
On arrival at Lhasa after a 29 hours on board the Sky Train.
Every night, as mummy watches the Hokkien drama after dinner, I will do my reading at the balcony with Baron. Each time I am there, I felt that you are relaxing next to me but minus the songs that you used to download and play on your mobile phone. We are slowly adjusting to life after your departure but I find it hard. The speed of my reading reduced tremendously as I find it hard to concentrate. As you know I used to cover about 100 pages a day yet now I need 3-4 days to absorb 50 pages. As you used to tell me, for every change, it will need some time for us to adjust to it. I will, and time will be the best testimony.
Yummy birthday cake from Maxim's Hong Kong.
As they say, photos are all about capturing the moments. I plan to do a photo book but it is just so hard for me to go through the many pictures that we took together and many of the trips that you made with mummy without crying. The project will just need more time for it to come to realization. I used to say I have no regrets in life but I have to change my statement now. I regretted very much now that I didn’t get to make the trips to Perth and Siem Riep that I’d wanted so much for you and mummy to travel with me, with the two of you doing the sightseeing while I attend some business meetings.
However, I am contented that we had our annual and bi-annual overseas trips for the past 12 years which you’d always arrange for it to coincide with my birthday in December though it is freezing cold. Of all, Dec 2007 in Hong Kong is the most memorable one for me because the birthday cake is the most delicious of all cakes while the cake in Istanbul is the most horrible one. You’d complained that it is just icing without substance. I’d inherited from you for being picky about food – nothing but the best. Yes, nothing but the best is always your maxim in life. I shall cherish it forever. I love you daddy.

P/S: More often than not, when I think of what happened on the morning of 6th June,  I am still in my own denial and illusion that I find it hard to explain in words.

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