Somewhere in 2005, I was going through a bad time in life and it was the lowest period in life my life. I was having a very bad working relationship with my manager. That time, I just join the firm, so is she, coming over from Agilent Technologies in Penang. I was not recruited by her but by my boss. Whatever that I did was wrong to her eyes and we just come see one another eye to eye even after mediation by my boss. All I knew was she wanted me to resign badly and disappear from her eyes.
But at that time I was lucky that I had the support of my boss and that helped me to regain my strength. In the end, I was very hostile to her. I do not even speak to her or give her a look. In meetings, when I felt that she said the wrong thing, I told her straight without giving her face, even in front of the boss. She made me so mad that whenever my team members or I discover her doing something wrong, we spread it wide, we discredit her and at the end, the whole team can’t even see her without saying something bad about her. I survived but she left not long after that to return to work in Agilent.
During that period, and also looking back at what happened to me since childhood, I just come to conclusion that it is very tired of becoming a human being and we have so many burdens behind us. I still hold this view now. We have to face the boss, the colleagues, family members, and evil people and so on. Then we have to struggle with work, with money, with families, with people and many more struggles. I have to say that I am lucky that I never have to worry about mortgage, car loan and many more that the working class always worries about but I still have to struggle with many things. The struggles seem to come one after another almost always without giving us a break. Some say this is the challenge of life but I think the challenge should not be like this!
Why God let us come into this world to face all these difficulties in life? All my colleagues and friends shared the same view.
A good friend, Steven started it all by saying that he feels tired of life and lamented that why our parents never ask our permissions before bringing us to this difficult world? That statement registered in my mind. Yeah, why we were never asked?
I know this sounds controversial to some but I made up my mind. Why bring someone into this world without asking the person’s opinion? Since we have no choice back then but I have a choice now, that is, since I can’t ask, I might as well don’t bring anyone into this world. This becomes my philosophy when it comes to having children.
Then there came the death of my close friend and her sufferings. Not only had she suffered but her close friends suffered too. Losing a close friend or family members is a very painful medicine to swallow. Again, why God bring her to this world and let her suffer and leave this way? Was she asked before she came into this world? It only affirmed my affirmation about bringing a person into this world without the person’s opinion.
Nothing can change this philosophy.